Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
