and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
