I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
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