Banned from zoo.
Again?
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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