Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
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