shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Randomize
