well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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