Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
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