Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Randomize
