Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Randomize
