My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
