Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Randomize