It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
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