Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Randomize
