Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Randomize
