How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
