I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
i may or may not be watching the land before time
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Alive.
So much puke
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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