Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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