sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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