i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
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