yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
