i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
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