Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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