Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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