You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
