pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I'm too high and old for this...
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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