is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
