Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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