I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
