Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
