It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Randomize
