My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
