I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
