She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
