I wish i was in the wii world.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Randomize