my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
