i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize