I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Of course I have a pirate flag
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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