1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
It's just like the Real World with babies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
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