Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
