he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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