Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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