Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Randomize
