We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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