that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
