I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
