There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
