i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Everyone says I win the strip club
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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