New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
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