like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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