I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
