i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
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