I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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