She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Randomize
