oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
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