I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
