that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
