youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
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