i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
