so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize