you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
