Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Randomize
