'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
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