Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Randomize