call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did i walk over a car last night?
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Randomize