There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Randomize
